OMG DA. I can't keep the drama away from you. IDK why I always write to you about this shit.

So, today, I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. But it was coming. We were on a sort of "friends with benefits" type of roller coaster for the last month (when he told me he would be much happier being friends for a reason of "I don't know"), and I couldn't keep it up. A person can only give out so much love and get none in return, before they collapse in a heap of nothingness. I asked him if he ever loved me during our relationship, and he said "I think so..."...........................
Well, lets just say that hurt, considering the shit I've gone through because of him. (ehem, Loss of relationship with my family, almost getting arrested - Twice, Preggers...... you get the picture.)
But I can't bring myself to hate him, because I love him that much. Stupid part is that I don't think I'll ever be able to think of him as a "best friend" (which we are now....)
I'll just keep in the back corner, and wait for the day he finally realizes that I am, and will always be, the best thing he ever had...........
..........at least he said he'd hold me sometimes...................................................................


.............I wanna be 21. I really need a fuckin drink.

Hi gaiz!~

As you can tell, haven't been on much. School sucks, life sucks, but I'm trying to

feel better. Sorry for not commenting on anything lately. eveytime i go on I got another

bagillion deviations to look at and a gazillion journals to read. Ive been deleting them

like a terrible person, but one did catch my eye lol.

MEME TIEM!~



[_] Come to my house to do nothing at all but chill?
[_] Fight me?
[_] F*ck me?
[_] Kiss me?
[_] Let me kiss you?
[_] Watch a movie with me?
[_] Go out to dinner with me?
[_] Let me drive you somewhere?
[_] Take a shower with me?
[_] Drink with me?
[_] Take me home for the night?
[_] Let me sleep in your bed?
[_] Sing car karaoke w/ me?
[_] Re-post this for me to answer your questions?
[_] Hold my hand?
[_] Let me make you breakfast?
[_] Help me with homework?
[_] Tickle me?
[_] Let me tickle you?
[_] Instant message me?
[_] Greet me in public?
[_] Hang out with me?
[_] Bring me around your friends?
[_] Be down with me no matter what?
[_] Go to prom with me?


DO YOU...

[_] Think I'm cute?
[_] Think I'm serious?
[_] Think I'm a good person
[_] Think I'm conceited?
[_] Want to kiss me?
[_] Want to cuddle with me?
[_] Want to hook up with me?
[_] Want to "do" me?
[_] Think I would do you?
[_] Love me?


AM I ...

[_] Smart?
[_] Cute?
[_] Funny?
[_] Sexy?
[_] Cool?
[_] Romantic?
[_] A "freak"?
[_] Gangsta?
[_] Lovable?
[_] Adorable?
[_] Trustworthy
[_] Compassionate?
[_] Great to be with?
[_] Attractive?
[_] Mean?
[_] Well known?


HAVE Y0U EVER ...

[_] Thought about hooking up with me?
[_] Found yourself wanting a kiss from me?
[_] Wished I were there?
[_] Had a crush on me?
[_] Wanted my number?
[_] Had a dream about me?
[_] Been distracted by me?
[_] Looked at my page more than ten times?


ARE YOU ...

[_] Happy you know me?
[_] Horny?
[_] Thinking about me?
[_] Wanting to call me to talk about these things?
[_] Going to repost this?

Well, as you can tell from the title, I'm feeling much better now. My appetite has come back to normal, though I can't eat much without getting full, I think my tummy shrank.
I think it was because of the stress I was having over my boyfriend. All is well on that end now. I told him how I feel, and I think he finally gets that I love him more than anything in this world.
I'm looking forward to Valentine's day, though I wish I didn't have to pay for dinner, but that's what happens when only 1 person in a relationship has a job, albeit a crappy <70$ a week job. We're going to Friendly's for dinner (Yeah....romantic, I know................) He picked it out, but I think it's only cuz he found coupons for it, and he feels bad for having me pay for dinner, so I guess it's kinda sweet.


My moms all on my case to pay her for internet and stuff, but I don't use it. My little sister is -always- on it. But I make a miserable amount of money, so I guess I have to pay her.........................><.........doesn't that suck? She's making pay too, and she makes $45 every 2 weeks, and then she want's -us- to buy our own lunch and not take leftover Pizza to school cuz she's too damn lazy to get up and make herself a cup o' soup. Seriously, my mom's got some freakin issues.



~~~~~~TO DO LIST: MAKE RANDOM STUFF FOR THESE PEOPLE;
1. DONE
2.
3.
4.
5.
*6.(because I can't say no to her)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1). - chapter 5 of New Assignment DONE! XD

2.) - Yaoi Fanfic of her characters Whoosh and Mithika

3.) - Photo of me dressed up as a DeathNote Male. O.o Done!...Sorta! Yeah! XD

4.) - Fanfictionx2.Her own characters and a DracoxHarry fic.

5.) - icon of Macha. 50x50- DONE!

6.) - Yaoi fanfic of Count D and Orcot. ^^

7.) - ......

8.) - Surprise! XD DONE!

9.) - Yaoi Fanfic of Hitachiincest- Started

10.)- Yaoi Fanfic of AyaxOmi O.O!



Thanks for readin!
~~(^-^)~~
..../...|...\....-teh squid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Real Life Family:
-my twin sis.
-my little sister.
-my Big Sister!
-My Bestest Cousin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My peeps. All are amazing artists. Please visit them!

Real Life Friends:
-my Boyfriend





D.A Life Friends:








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a member of:


[link] Crane Project
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to be a member of:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
------------------------------------------------------------
ART THEIFS!:

------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peeps I watch minus the ones I haven't put on here yet.

Well, from the name of my journal, you can tell that I'm in a sorta depressed mood. It's cool though. *lol*
School is sooo boring and I've been having trouble with my BF lately, but it's working out. I haven't really been eating, mostly because my sis and I have no money for food, so we just wait till we get home, but when I get home.....I don't eat. I'm not anorexic, I'm just too lazy to make something I guess. I did try to eat today, but as soon as I took a bite of my sandwich, I almost threw up. But, give me some curly fries and I down it. Figures, can't eat good food, just junk. I dunno. It's weird. *shrug*
I guess it doesn't help that I haven't been feeling well due to stress and boyfriend issues.
I'm just glad I don't have school to add to stress. It's just boring really, not hard at all.

BTW, my new favorite emote:

~~~~~~TO DO LIST: MAKE RANDOM STUFF FOR THESE PEOPLE;

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
*6.(because I can't say no to her)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1). - chapter 5 of New Assignment DONE! XD

2.) - Yaoi Fanfic of her characters Whoosh and Mithika

3.) - Photo of me dressed up as a DeathNote Male. O.o Done!...Sorta! Yeah! XD

4.) - Fanfictionx2.Her own characters and a DracoxHarry fic.

5.) - icon of Macha. 50x50- DONE!

6.) - Yaoi fanfic of Count D and Orcot. ^^

7.) - ......

8.) - Surprise! XD DONE!

9.) - Yaoi Fanfic of Hitachiincest- Started

10.)- Yaoi Fanfic of AyaxOmi O.O!



Thanks for readin!
~~(^-^)~~
..../...|...\....-teh squid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Real Life Family:
-my twin sis.
-my little sister.
-my Big Sister!
-My Bestest Cousin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My peeps. All are amazing artists. Please visit them!

Real Life Friends:
-my Boyfriend





D.A Life Friends:








~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am a member of:


[link] Crane Project
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to be a member of:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
------------------------------------------------------------
ART THEIFS!:

------------------------------------------------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Peeps I watch minus the ones I haven't put on here yet.